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100 Things to Bitch About

Because the world is only 99% perfect. Lousy, stupid near-perfect world...

If you own a computer, you probably read some comment online about the “horrible” manner in which NBC covered the Olympics. People seemed pissed about everything, from delayed airing of certain events to the over-abundance of commercials. To which we say, “Come on!” NBC is sending you sports from across the world, and is pretty much organizing 24-hour Super Bowls for two solid weeks. You think you can do better? Have at it.

But, since the Olympics are winding down, the internet will need something else to bitch about. Here are 100 options.

1. The fact that eggs are not perfect spheres.

2. Free WiFi that lagged for 3.4 seconds.

3. The logical inconsistencies in The Dark Knight Rises.

4. The logical inconsistencies in Ice Age 4: Continental Divide.

5. When Siri doesn’t answer your question completely.

6. Stores that sell Halloween candy in August.

7. YouTube preroll ads. You know YouTube is free, right?

8. New anything. (New Faecbook, New Twitter, New Spider-Man, New Girlfriend, etc.)

9. Elevators that take more than 17 seconds to arrive. Relax. These robots are about to carrying your ass up into the air for hundreds of feet at the touch of button. Instead of complaining, you should say, “Thank you, elevation robot! Praise unto thee”

10. “MTV doesn’t even play music anymore!”

11. Beer prices at the stadium
. This isn’t new. They’ve always been exorbitant. Complaining about this is like complaining that summer is hot.

12. The heat of summer.

13. “Ugh. There are too many movie trailers! Can’t we just see the movie?”
Shut up! Movie trailers are awesome.

14. When Christmas is on a Saturday. How about this: How about we don’t have ANY Christmas until you're mature enough to handle it.

15. Klout scores.

16. Remakes.
Here’s a thought: Stop going to remakes and thus, remakes will stop getting made.

17. Cover songs.

18. Website comments.

19. Saturday Night Live.

20. George Lucas.

21. Gotye.
It’s not his fault the radio keeps playing the song and by this point, we’re sure he hates it just as much as you.

22. Concerts that don’t start exactly on time.

23. People who believe things, or don’t believe things.

24. Which video game is better.

25. Teen Mom. Every time you mention it, you’re only making it worse.

26. Memes that you don’t understand.

27. When a musician tries something.

28. Pro athletes that choke when it counts.

29. Pro athletes who sound silly during interviews.

30. Pro athletes.

31. Girls at the bar who don’t run over to you and beg for sex.

32. Lack of cell service inside caves or on top of mountains.

33. Overrated horror movies that “aren’t that scary.”

34. Geico commercials that you don’t think are clever.

35. Skittle commercials that you think are weird.

36. Things that happened to you in college and you just can’t let go.

37. Prices of things.

38. When Facebook isn’t working.

39. When you don’t understand a trending topic.

40. Small political issues that pale in comparison to the concept of war.

41. Kids.

42. When you’re inside a building in the middle of August and you complain that the air conditioning is too cold.

43. Steven Spielberg's latest movie choices.

44. Mail. For less than a dollar, an envelope can be sent thousands of miles away and end up in the exact location you desire in less than two days. It's not slow and overpriced. It's proof that magic exists!

45. Celebrities and politicians who have affairs.

46. Kermit the Frog’s voice in the latest Muppet movie.

47. A review that differs from your opinion greatly.

48. People who don’t text back.

49. Wes Anderson and/or P.T. Anderson.

50. Cable news.

51. Teams that are only the second best team in the entire world.

52. Katy Perry’s life and music.

53. Movies based on toys or board games.

54. Online lists.

55. Offline lists.

56. Pixar’s latest offerings and how they’re just not as good.  

57. Women who were once really hot but now are a little older and little less hot.

58. When the movie version of a book leaves something out.

59. Mosquitos.

60. Getting the wrong coffee.

61. When someone “spoils” a movie or book that is in no way a mystery or surprising.

62. Rain.

63. Lack of rain.

64. Lines.

65. Online grammar.

66. People who don’t realize that drumming is the most difficult part of any music.

67. Nic Cage’s acting. C’mon! The guys is brilliant! You just don’t see it.

68. Comments made by a rapper.

69. Free video game demos.

70.  DVRs that are full.

71.  Why does “rabbit” get two Bs but “habit” gets only one?

72. People who park oddly.

73. When Siri pops up for no reason. Go away, Siri. We can handle this.

74. Cell phone technology.

75. Free apps.

76. Movies in 3D.

77. Kristen Stewart.

78. Poorly worded Spam emails.

79. Blu-rays that have mild visual imperfections.

80. Obese America.

81. Slow computers.

82. Traffic after a concert or sporting event.

83. Wednesdays.

84. A TV show isn’t as funny as it once was.

85. A TV show’s series finale.

86. Which web browser is the best.

87. Art.

88. Stores that ask to see your receipt before exiting.

89. The quality of a hotel’s complimentary breakfast.

90. Roller coasters that aren’t the world’s tallest.

91. Parties.

92. Any out-of-context quote.

93. Historical inaccuracies in movies and TV.

94. Customer service.

95. There are too few cherries in a can of fruit cocktail.

96. There’s no safe place to put your wallet when you go to the beach.

97. Lack of independent record stores.

98. The government.

99. People who don’t take street art seriously.

100. This sentence.