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4 Headline-Worthy, Strangely Entertaining Attacks*

*Er, no one was seriously injured. Probably.

 
Sadly, not a day goes by where there isn't some form of violence reported on in the news. To lighten your Tuesday, here are four recent cases that we can laugh about.
 

Fan Bites Danny Bonaduce

 


Lara Solanki / Syfy | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

 

Equally famous for his early role in The Partridge Family and gulping down a bottle of vodka before riding his scooter onto a highway, Bonaduce was attacked by a fan during a meet-and-greet at a Washington state casino on Friday. Specifically, a woman asking for a kiss bit him in the face. But don’t worry fans, Danny’s OK: From a post-bite interview we learned that he’s not pressing charges, he was given antibiotics as a precaution, but that he was worried the woman was under the influence of bath salts.

 

First Grader Beats Up Gym Teacher

 


Courtesy of ABC

 

This is one of those cases where you’d think, even if this happened, wouldn’t a 220 pound Queens gym teacher be too humiliated to report it? Not in the case of John Webster - who formerly played tailback for Morrisville State College - who is suing the city of New York for physical injuries and psychological counseling brought on after he was attacked by 4’3 Rodrigo Carpio, aka “Tiny Terror".

 

GOP Aide Clashes with Lindsay Lohan over a Cell Phone

 


Walter McBride / Retna Ltd. | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

 

After a night of partying together, Lohan filed charges against Christian LaBella, an aide to Rep. John Shimkus, accusing him of choking her after she tried to delete photos of them partying off of his cell phone. There is no situation in which a dude choking a woman is funny, obviously, but once the charges were dropped and we saw a photo of LaBella hanging out with Paul Ryan, we had to giggle at their cheeseball little grins.

 

Czech President Shot by Toy Gun

 


Justin Lane / Landov | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

 

71-year-old Vaclav Klaus already found fame on YouTube after he was caught stealing a pen during an official trip to Chile. On Friday a new video shows the President being shot by a pellet gun during a bridge opening ceremony. His attacker, a 26-year-old communist sympathizer, was only arrested after giving an on-camera interview about why he did it. After the attack Klaus was quoted as deadpanning to his bodyguards: “You really did not manage this well.” Guess the Czechs are slightly more relaxed about presidential security than we are. 

 

For more weirdness, go here!

For hot pictures of Lindsay Lohan, go here!