We're not letting go of our favorite holiday that easily. Take that, calendar!
Bummed that the Halloween scares are over? This watch will reawaken them while simultaneously forcing you to get your shitty life together. Essentially, the Tikker predicts when you're going to die based on a questionnaire about your medical history, weight, diseases that run in your family, and general lifestyle details. Once complete, the watch gives you a score representative of your total life span. After your age is deducted, it begins a countdown to your hypothesized doomsday. If you're reading this from your mother's basement, good luck.
Ever wonder what it'd be like to date after death? Forgo the usual creepy dating sites and head straight to ghostsingles.com, a comical matchmaking site designated for frisky members of the afterlife (well, as frisky as you can get without tangible body parts). Page through profiles of eligible bachelorettes like "deadgrrrl," "lonely4ever," and "Phantom4u," and chat with the site's soulful participants to get a taste of what you have to look forward to. And we've even got tips for what to do when you and your ghostly lover make it to the bedroom.
Zombie Apocalypse Survival Course
Deep in the forests of South Jersey, badass instructors of all backgrounds (NRA, military, martial arts, just to name a few) hold a zombie apocalypse survival course to help prepare civilians for the inevitable undead takeover. Not only will you learn how to create legitimate shelter, but you'll also learn how to wield a rifle, shoot a crossbow, and defend yourself through Zombitsu - or, human-to-soulless-corpse combat. Finally, all of that shit we've been hoarding for zombie emergencies can be put to good use.
Tanzanian Natron River
Nothing says "creepy as fuck" like calcified animals, right? Right. A deadly river in Tanzania is doing just that thanks to its remarkably high levels of Natron, a chemical compound made mostly of sodium carbonate. With water temps reaching 140 degrees Fahrenheit and a constant alkaline pH level ranging from 9-10.5, you'd expect nearly all thirst-ridden animals to just die as soon as they take a sip. However, due to the water's unique chemical makeup, they are instead calcified, preserving their skin and stance upon approach. Sweet.
Looking for a valuable, creepy new hobby? Taxidermy may be your calling. Classes can be found worldwide, and you'll finally have the ability to bring back every dead pet since childhood (because you totally froze their corpses, right?). Not to mention you'll have a bunch of killer decorations for your house. Just try not to go overboard (we're looking at you Norman Bates).
Check out 2014 Halloween Hotties and Dare Maxim: Halloween Horror Night