User menu

Main menu


5 Terrible Ideas For Pastry Frankensteins (You Should Try To Make Anyway)

Not every dessert crossover can be as successful as the cronut.

Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images

Pastry chef Dominique Ansel’s infamous cronut has gone from local New York City obsession to international fixation, and it was recently announced that the guy’s even getting his own cookbook. The delicious blend of croissant and donut has made appearances on late night shows, and imitators have sprung up everywhere. Inspired by a lust for wealth, fame, and diabetes, we tried to think of our own sugary chimera, and failed. Badly. If you want try making some of these and letting us know how they worked out, though, you go right ahead.

The Bearnut
A combination donut and bear claw, the bearnut seems like it’d taste delicious, but with that name, we’re picturing some blank looks from the marketing department (that’s our brother-in-law, Gary).  

The Rumhorn
Rum cakes are like the horrible fruit cakes you get for Christmas, but slightly better because they’re made with rum. Cream horns are, well, horns filled with cream. Pour the liquefied version of the former down the hollowed out latter and what do you get? Something really, really gross, probably.

The Ice Cream Pake
This one got killed off in the research stage. Who knew you couldn’t bake ice cream like a pie? People with Jr. High diplomas, we suspect.

The Manzone
Everyone likes gingerbread men! And who doesn’t love a calzone? But stuffing gingery cookies inside of a flaky pizza crust? Maybe not one of our better ideas.

The Cuffinut
33 percent croissant. 33 percent muffin. 33 percent donut. 100 percent too crazy to live.

Check out This Week In Porn Star Tweets and Razor Blade Donuts and 4 More Diastrously Dastardly Schemes.