You can't fix a hangnail without a trip to the E.R., but these guys have the cojones to carve themselves open and sew themselves back up.
449629890- Going to the novocaine-wielding dentist is bad enough, but when your dentist is just an ice skate and a volleyball you know you're going to feel every ounce of gum-destroying pain. We'd call Tom Hanks a pussy for passing out, but we sob every time we floss. (Thanks a lot, gingivitis.)
449629944- Sure he's an unfeeling robot from the future (who's played by an unfeeling robot from Austria), but it's still hard to watch the Governator use an Exacto to pull some shrapnel from his arm and eye. On the good side, he looked pretty sweet in those glasses.
449629976- Why pay good money to a hospital for a hand amputation when you have a perfectly good chain saw lying around? Ash's procedure may not exactly be the picture of hygiene, but it's quick, effective, and ultimately allows him to attach a kick-ass chain saw where his mitt used to be. Think of the money he'll save on gloves and landscaping.
449629988- De Niro is a tough motherfucker in this scene, but we think dealing with Babs Focker is still more painful than the ol' pull-the-bullet-out-of-my-side-using-only-a-mirror move.
449629959- Who knew the Predator went to nursing school? After seeing him stitch up his own horrific-looking leg, we wouldn't be opposed to letting him nurse our wounds. Who would've thought something with the face of a grotesque space creature would be qualified for a heart-wrenching cameo on Grey's Anatomy.
449630008- It's hard to make a decision between your leg and your life, especially when you have to saw your own limb off with a rusty hacksaw. We admire Dr. Lawrence Gordon's willingness to improvise, though. We bet he made a great pirate for Halloween.
449630028- We're on the verge of tears every time we bite our cheek while chewing, so the thought of having to sew our mouth back together after having it slashed with a knife makes us feel funny in a really bad way. Capitán Vidal handles it like a champ, though, and comes away with a cool Joker-like look as a bonus.
449630053- When this movie came out, it had 221 acts of violence—more than any movie at the time according to Guinness. But the most difficult one to watch was when Rocky had to dig a chunk of grenade shrapnel out of his side and then had the wherewithal to cauterize the wound with some handy-dandy gunpowder. Fire in the hole!
BONUS: No Country for Old Men- Remember that one time on vacation when you drew yourself a steamy, relaxing bath and sipped a cocktail while you soaked in the hotel's tub? This is exactly like that. Just replace the steam with blood, the relaxation with pulling pieces of buckshot out of a gaping wound in your thigh, and the cocktail with several injections of pain relievers and antibiotics into the aforementioned wound.