The music video vixen is a time-honored tradition, and while we certainly enjoy the work, say, Tawney Kitaen did for Whitesnake or Bobbie Brown did for Warrant, we especially appreciate those videos where the hottie levels go to 11. To that end, we present some the biggest and the best collections of hot women the music video world has to offer.
Heavy D & The Boyz - "Nuttin' But Love"
What can we say? The big man knows how to add production value to a music video. A bevy of gorgeous models (including, yes, "That Noxzema girl") lip-synch and bounce while Heavy explains that money can't buy happiness. True, but it can buy an awesome video. This is the best work director Brett Ratner has ever done.
Jessica Simpson - "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'"
First of all, yes, we agree that this is a crime against music (How high did they have to get Willie Nelson for this, anyway?) but a horde of back-up dancers in Daisy Dukes and belly Ts? Dammit, Jessica. You've got us. You've got us using the "mute" button, but you've got us.
David Lee Roth - "California Girls"
You think Diamond Dave would miss a chance to stockpile bikini-clad hotties? Of course not. While we could do without quite so much shirtless Dave, it's forgiveable when you have the 80s finest packed in all over the frame.
Katy Perry - "I Kissed a Girl"
The video for lovely Ms. Perry's ode to fashionable lesbianism makes us feel like we're spying on a wild all-girl party like the freaks so many people have accused us of being. It's like she knows that when guys think of "Lesbian parties" they think of lingerie and pink pillows. Not, you know, flannel shirts and steel-toe boots.
Robert Palmer - "Addicted to Love"
It's still amazing that a dude who looked like your dad's accountant could front one of the most iconic hottie videos of all time. The black dresses, the bright red lips, the slicked back hair, the heavily-medicated eyelids…this is what plays in Charlie Sheen's head all day long.
Robbie Williams - "Millennium"
The British pop singer's video is an homage to James Bond, so it stands to reason that he'd get some high quality Bond Girls of his own. Well played, Robbie. Again, though, we could do without quite so much of the, um, you-ness. See: Lee Roth, David.
United Nations - "Out of Touch"
When you have little more than a lame dance track to sell, you'd better work extra hard to get our attention. United Nations works extra hard. The entire video concept is models playing strip poker? Sigh. OK, fine. Deal us in.
George Michael - "Freedom 90"
Are you paying attention, rest of the list? George Michael keeps himself behind the scenes, allowing the 90's supermodel creme de le creme—Linda Evangelista, Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington—to take the spotlight in his place. Only we have to deduct one or two points for the male models. We understand, George, but nothing puts a speed bump in our fantasies like a dude's boxer shorted-ass.
Eric Prydz - "Call On Me"
Just…wow. This video…um, sorry. Were you talking? Uh-huh. Uh-huh…yeah, we're paying attention…