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Apparently New Yorkers Aren't Wearing Condoms - Here Are 5 Reasons Why They Should

Exhibit A: Chris Brown.

The New York Post reported today that a recent Health Department poll shows that only one in three New Yorkers is using condoms. What the fuck? Did everyone forget that herpes is still totally a thing? And that it looks like this, BUT ON YOUR DICK? Well, just in case that's not enough motivation to start using rubbers, we're taking a moment to remind you of the other danger of unprotected sex: Babies, ya'll. Here are five people from whom the world might have been spared if only condoms had been used.

 

Chris Brown


Photo: Gregorio T. Binuya/ Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

Even Ike Turner thinks Chris Brown is kind of a jerk.
 

Justin Bieber


Photo: Vivien Killilea/ Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013


We suspect that the Beliebers are really just a group of hardcore atheists who only love Justin Bieber because he is living, irrefutable proof that there is no God.

Carrot Top

Photo: Ethan Miller/ Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013


DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE


Donald Trump


Photo: D Dipasupil/ Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

"Who's fired now, jerkoff?" - Guy who will inevitably firebomb Donald Trump's car one day


Ryan Lochte


Photo: C. Flaningan / Getty Images  | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013


We're not saying we want grill-wearing dope and Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte to drown. But we're not NOT saying that.


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