Somewhere in China, a factory full of sweat shop workers is laughing at us.
Photo: Mint Girl Productions / Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013
Yesterday, CareerCast released its annual rankings of the best and worst jobs in America, and while we assumed that "Anything But This" would win the Best Jobs category, that honor went to the noble profession of...actuary.
To be honest, we don't actuary know what an actuary is, so we can't actuary say whether it's noble. And if you don't know what it is either, then suffice it to say that you don't have the best job in America, and are probably miserable during every moment of every day.
But while your soul-sucking daily grind might be a living hell, according to CareerCast, no one is more miserable than newspaper reporters. That's right: The number one worst job in America right now is newspaper reporter. That means there are people who spend 40 hours a week mopping shit off the floor of a truckstop restroom, and they still have it better than reporters.
They also have it better than people with these jobs, which were also among the top 10 worst:
In today's economy, many companies feel like a sinking ship, but employees of the United States Postal service are actually on one. It's the quintessential government job from hell, which is why the term "postal worker" is always preceded by the word "disgruntled." After all, no one even sends mail anymore, and when they do, it's usually just an envelope filled with ricin poison, addressed to the White House.
Remember that JetBlue flight attendant who was driven so mad by his job that he became enraged with a rude passenger, and told everyone on the flight to fuck off before grabbing a beer and making a dramatic exit through the plane's emergency door? Well, consider this: JetBlue isn't even one of the worst airlines to work for.
At first seeing this on the list was a bit confusing, because being an actor actually seems like a pretty awesome job. But it makes a lot more sense when you consider that 99.9 percent of the time, "actor" is really just a synonym for "waiter."
Manual labor! Flannel shirts! Trying to cram an ax into your back-pocket! Living with the constant awareness that your job could be done much more effectively by a machine! This one is definitely a shitty job (and, in fact, it snagged the number one spot last year)—which is probably why no one has worked as a lumberjack for at least 200 years.
Peruse the full list of the best and worst jobs of 2013 here, and the next time you have to give a sponge bath to an elderly person or transport a sack full of used hypodermic needles, just be glad you didn't waste time getting a master's degree in journalism.
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