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Ask Maxim: Fat Mafia Men, Space Real Estate, and Baby Making

Answering all the questions you never knew you had (and some you did).


Illustrated for Maxim by Jason Schneider | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

Why are all Mafia men so fat? 
—Robert G. Schreib Jr.
Because “Fat Tony” sounds way more intimidating than “Svelte Steve.” Actually, Mob Wives star Carla Facciolo has another thought. “They love to eat good!” says Facciolo. “Especially the Italian ones—boy, do they like to throw down. And the wine doesn’t help, either!” Hey, if we were stuck working in the waste-management industry, we’d 
be treating ourselves to gabagool and ziti every night, too.

Why do I see crazy patterns of colors when I push down on my closed eyes?
—Kristen A. Skerry
That’s entoptic phenomena. “You’re deforming the retina and changing the activity of cells in the back of your eyes that gather light and send those signals to the brain,” explains ophthalmologist Stephen Slade. “The blood and oxygen supply is also affected, causing hallucinations.” It’s the poor man’s LSD!

Is there any way I can increase my odds of conceiving a son?
—James Levetsovitis
“Preimplantation genetic diagnosis is the surest technique,” says Tanvir Hussain, M.D. “You give doctors a ‘deposit’; they’ll fertilize eggs taken from the baby mama, pick ones with the Y chromosome, and implant those back into her.” The price tag? About $20,000. Congrats—it’s a bouncing ball of debt! 

Want more Ask Maxim? Check out the Burnt Hair edition and Weiner Shrinkage edition.