User menu

Main menu

Funny

Ask Maxim: July 2011

Answering all the stupid questions you never knew you had, and some you did! 



In a zombie apocalypse, why don’t zombies eat each other? And why don’t insects and bacteria devour them?
Sean G. via e-mail

Robert Kirkman, creator of The Walking Dead, tells us that you’ll never see a zombie snack on one of his own. “Zombies are dead flesh, and they only like to eat fresh, living flesh—not the cold stuff.” In fact, there’s even a time limit on how long they’ll keep eating your face. “Once the body is cold, the zombies will stop eating.” Kirkman also warns that bacteria and insects aren’t going to save us from the undead. Whatever black magic it is that has dead people walking around can certainly fight off some mold and worms.
fast facts

FAST FACTS
Boy George is turning 50, so let’s learn all about tumbling!

1. “I’ll Tumble 4 Ya” meant “I’d hit that” in horny 1980s vernacular.
2. American Rowland “Flip” Wolfe was the first and only Olympic gold medalist in tumbling (1932).
3. In 1811 a teacher tried to overthrow Napoleon with a tumbling group of superathletes.
4. Laxatives, diarrhea, anorexia, and caffeine are all commonly found in gymnasts’ locker rooms.
5. After tumbling onstage in 2007, Beyoncé asked her audience not to post videos. Too bad we were in the front row.


DUMB QUESTION OF THE MONTH
One of you actually asked this.


Why are the world’s oceans different colors?
Gregory Bond, via e-mail

Because different cultures have different-colored pee streams! Actually, microscopic plants, or phytoplankton, as science-y people call them, absorb color from the light spectrum. Different types of phytoplankton live in the world’s various oceans and reflect differing shades of green and blue, making parts of the water appear different colors.

$417,000= The amount robust people will spend in health care over their lifetimes, according to a recent study. The obese or fans
of smoking? A thrifty $371,000 and $326,000, respectively. Why less? Because they die much younger!

NOT-SO-DUMB-QUESTION OF THE MONTH
Now, that’s a head-scratcher!


What is the world’s most worthless currency?
Charles Castor, Gainsville, FL
The Zimbabwean dollar was so worthless that in 2008 it cost about 300 billion Zimbabwean dollars for a loaf of bread, and Zimbabwe’s $1 coin was worth approximately .000000000002 American cents. In 2009 a 100 trillion dollar note was introduced before the currency completely collapsed. Do they take Camel Cash now?