Will eating tapeworms help me lose weight?
Francis Glover, Pittsburgh, PA
Lucky for fat, lazy do-nothings like yourself, Frank, there are plenty of fad weight-loss methods out there. Few are more intriguing—or disgusting—than the “tapeworm diet.” The theory is that the tapeworm causes you to lose weight by preventing your intestine from absorbing food; then, once you’re looking fit and trim, you take medicine to kill the damn thing. So does it work? Sort of! You will lose weight, but the slimy critters leave eggs that have an unfortunate tendency to escape your intestines and form cysts in other organs, where they cause fever, infections, and, should they reach your brain, seizures. Bummer! So you just might wanna give that Billy Blanks workout tape one more try.