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Ask Sheik! The World’s Greatest Advice Column [2/10/14]

Every week, we’re giving you the opportunity to ask the legend that is The Iron Sheik for his advice. Girl trouble? Job trouble? Someone attacking you with a steel chair trouble? He has answers for everything! You may not like his answers, but he has them…

All answers appear unedited exactly as given by the Sheik, so if you have issues with some of the spelling, take it up with him. WE DARE YOU.

 

How should I cope with football being gone for the next seven months?

Eric Cade

Bubba you never be Seattle Seahawk class. They fucked up the Denver worse than the Virgil. Now you do training you keep yourself busy with NBA and NHL and you get a fucking job. You make the money you can play the football forever. Otherwise talk a fucking walk.

 

How do I get my business more views and likes without spending a lot of money?

Paul A Hunt

Talk is cheap. You make the noise like the Kennedy Mcmahon. You need to have good product and it talk for itself. You have dog shit nobody want to buy your jabroni business. Always put %1000 in your business or talk a fucking walk.

 

Mr. Sheik: Who will win in an Iran vs. USA war?

Matteo Picinich

Nobody fuck with the USA. Not even the Iran. USA forever.

 

How do you get a woman to like you?

Stephen Billington

Bubba. You ask oldest question. You have the money you win. You cheap broke son of a bitch. Nobody going to fuck you.

 

Is Russell Wilson officially in the Iron Sheik's class after winning the Super Bowl?

Eric Gutierrezll

He impress me big time. he still look like he have dog shit on his head but he play with team best I ever see. He have nothing to lose and play with the heart. He Iron Sheik class bubba.

 

Got any tips for painting a house? It keeps going patchy when it dries.

Jeff Folds

You paint your fucking house you ask the legend? I don't know about the fucking patchy or the jabroni paint. You have professional do for you otherwise your house dog shit.

 

What do you think of men that wear the skinny jeans?

Joe Meyer

All my life I wear the tights in the ring. I am a man. I am the real man. If somebody want to wear the skinny jean and they don't look like the jabroni then I respect them. But if they look like they have mcnugget tits and they wear the skinny pants maybe they have tic tac balls.

 

Since you guys asked so many, we’re also including a few of your wrestling questions. Because we’re nicer than you deserve.

 

On a scale of John Cena to 10, how do you rate the current wrestling crop?

Andrew Johnson

Kennedy McMahon emperor of the Rome. He know what he do. I hear the people not happy about the Batista he not deserve to win like the Daniel Bryan. This way I respect the fans they know what they like. But the WWE #1 company they have plan to make the show best show and make the people happy or mad still they watch because they know the business best. You wait you see how they make it best for the fans.

 

Would you referee a match between Ultimate Warrior and Rob Ford?

Scott Stevens

ANYTIME I LOVE I NOT ONLY REFEREE BUT I BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF BOTH THEM BREAK THEIR FUCKING BACKS MAKE THEM HUMBLE FOREVER

 

You can get more of The Iron Sheik’s words of wisdom on Twitter and Instagram.

 

Check out last week's Ask Sheik, or read The Iron Sheik Wants To Make A Documentary...About Himself. Are YOU Going To Argue With Him?

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