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Ask Sheik! The World’s Greatest Advice Column [3/17/14]

Every week, we’re giving you the opportunity to ask the legend that is The Iron Sheik for his advice. Girl trouble? Job trouble? Someone attacking you with a steel chair trouble? He has answers for everything! You may not like his answers, but he has them…

All answers appear unedited exactly as given by the Sheik, so if you have issues with some of the spelling, take it up with him. WE DARE YOU.

 

What advice have you got for someone who doesn't have a lot of confidence when driving? I never feel safe behind the wheel.

-Eileen Slater

BUBBA you drive you need the practice. You drive you need to be the smart. You drive you need to not be fucking on the fucking jarboni cell phone. You practice you train you be ok. But if you take the fucking vodka and you drive you are dumb son of a bitch piece of shit I beat the fuck out of you.

 

Pacquiao or Mayweather?

-Gregg Mirabueno

Both gold medal both world champion. Both never be the Virgil

 

Which Girl Scout cookie is the real and which is worse than the Justin Bieber?

-Eric Coffman

No bubba. The girl scout cookie the real. The girl scout cookie the delicious. The justin Bieber the tic tac dick no good motherfucker. I never respect him he never be iron sheik class

 

How do you feel about Dennis Rodman and his friendship with Kim Jong Un?

- Dane De Guzman

Dennis my good friend. He smart he dumb. He friend with the rice crispy dick Kim Jong he don't know what the fuck he do because he eat dead cat. Dennis make the money I be happy

 

How do you cook hot dogs?

-Tannar Stew

I do the bar b que not like the fucking Michael Vick bubba

 

My band, Bettie Rage, is recording a new album soon, and we need a name for it. Any suggestions???

-Bettie Rage

How about the OLD COUNTRY WAY or NO JABRONI

 

What's a jabroni?

-Chris Florence

Jabroni is the person who don't take care themself who dont respect themselves who don't look good eat only the chips

 

Since you guys asked so many, we’re also including a few of your wrestling questions. Because we’re nicer than you deserve.

 

Sheiky bubba, do you think Daniel Bryan will be World Champion at Wrestlemania 30?

-James Corpuz

He do good business for the Kennedy McMahon that way I love him. he win make the people happy.

 

How do i become a professional wrestling manager?

-Joshua Penn

You talk good you look good you have good gimmick. Otherwise go fuck yourself

 

Got a question for the Sheik? Leave it in the comments below! You can get more of The Iron Sheik’s words of wisdom on Twitter and Instagram.

 

Check out last week's Ask Sheik, or read The Iron Sheik Says "Go F**k Yourself!"