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Ask Sheik! The World’s Greatest Advice Column [3/24/14]

Every week, we’re giving you the opportunity to ask the legend that is The Iron Sheik for his advice. Girl trouble? Job trouble? Someone attacking you with a steel chair trouble? He has answers for everything! You may not like his answers, but he has them…

All answers appear unedited exactly as given by the Sheik, so if you have issues with some of the spelling, take it up with him. WE DARE YOU.

Sheik, were they unfair to the Liza Mineli at the Oscars?  Is she Sheik class?

The Liza biggest target for the Oscar. She look like the fucking Cookie Monster have the sex with 50 dead dog. She a legend but still she deserve to get humbled because she have too many suplex on her head and she dont know that she look like blue jabroni. Still she make it and she the Sheik class.

Sheiky do I talk to women?  What do I say to break the ice?

Bubba. You ask important question. You need to be natural. You need to be the real. If the lady dont have time for you you tell her to take a fucking walk. You treat her with the respect you ask her if she know the legend. If she dont know who i am than you suplex her and she not worth the fuck.

How do I become hairless, like your physique?
-Bryan Lopez
Bubba you have to train work out eat the good and you shave your chest your hair become no more. This way you look Iron Sheik class. But if you eat the fucking chips or the jabroni mcnugget than you can go fuck yourself forever

If all your fans took up a collection to fly you to meet with Justin Beiber, what would you do to this popular entertainer?  Or would you want to meet with Paula Deen or Arod?
- om List

Bubba, i tell the world the Justin Bieber he a punk young not ready raisin balls. He dont know how to handle the moderation. This way I teach him but first I break his fucking neck with my camel clutch. I only meet the Paula Deen to show her she never be the real and that she have the cheeseburger tits. FUCK THE AROD

Hey Sheik - Can I love eating the chips without being a Jabroni?
Bubba, the moderation. You eat the chips once good. you eat the chips everyday you are biggest fucking fatso piece of shit you go fuck yourself forever

Which NFL team will win the Super Bowl in 2015?
-Kevin Murray
Bubba I love the Seattle now because of the intelligent Jew Richard Sherman. The Peyton my good friend. Now he have the Coco B Ware nephew the Demarcus or whatever the fuck his name is we see what happen. As long i have my cold beer I be happy.

Since you guys asked so many, we’re also including a few of your wrestling questions. Because we’re nicer than you deserve.


Who has better hair the ultimate warrior or Bret hart?
-Mass Funkhouse

Ultimate Warrior have dumb bitch hair. The Bret my good friend i am his teacher he know he have the real Iron Sheik class hair.

If you could wrestle any current WWE superstar at Wrestlemania 30, who would it be and why?

-Eric Gutierrez ll

Excellent question. I have 3 way bubba. I love the Daniel Bryan he over with me and he good student of the business. He respect the old timer and he know how to make the people happy. Other my best friend Mexican brother the Alberto Del Rio. He have wrestling in his blood. He live the business. he know how to make the people happy. he play the heal he play the baby face excellent. Shooting wise they both know I can beat the fuck out of both them.

Got a question for the Sheik? Leave it in the comments below! You can get more of The Iron Sheik’s words of wisdom on Twitter and Instagram.


Check out last week's Ask Sheik, or read The Iron Sheik Says "Go F**k Yourself!"