User menu

Main menu

Funny

Ask Sheik! The World’s Greatest Advice Column [3/3/14]

Every week, we’re giving you the opportunity to ask the legend that is The Iron Sheik for his advice. Girl trouble? Job trouble? Someone attacking you with a steel chair trouble? He has answers for everything! You may not like his answers, but he has them…

All answers appear unedited exactly as given by the Sheik, so if you have issues with some of the spelling, take it up with him. WE DARE YOU.

 

Do you have any wisdom on dealing with a sunburn?

-Argel Plinko

Bubba the sunburn worse than ultimate warrior. I suplex the fucking sun but still you be careful you have the cream or you take the cold shower you feel better.

 

O legendary Iron Sheik, North America has a problem with bullying. Kids are killing themselves because they can't see a day when they won't be bullied any more. What must we do to save them?

-Ron Graham

The fucking bully never fuck with the legend. All my life nobody fuck with me because I practice the wrestling. That way I teach the young generation to have the wrestling the karate the MMA. Not to beat the fuck out of the bully but to have iron Sheik confidence to be world champion. Too many fucking kid eat the cheeseburger and play video game. Fuck the cheeseburger. Exercise make you the real bubba.

 

What beer is the Iron Sheik champion beer?

-Patrick Haskin

I love the St Pauley or the Canadian beer. But all beer best if the beer cold.

 

Is the Benedict Cumberbatch the Sheik class or is he a no good jabroni?

-Drogrin

WHO THE FUCK THAT NAME WORSE THAN DOG SHIT NAME.

 

Will you come and knock some respect into my teenage brat ass of a son? I can't do it, I'm a dwarf, but that little shit needs his ass whooped. By you.

-Michael Kemerling

Michael bubba. You let me know where you live I come your house I suplex him and I break his fucking neck he no respect the papa he need lesson from the legend. I stretch him good bubba.

 

Canadian Football League: Real or Jabroni?

-Bijhan Valibeigi

Bijhan bubba you from the Iran you know the soccer #1. NFL always respect the legend. CFL the half and half but I have lot of wrestling brother that play the football in the canada. That way I respect all the sport.

 

Hey Sheik, where did I leave my cable remote?

-Manny Faces

You dumb fuck no good taco tits.  You have the fucking remote in your ass after you watch the fucking jabroni movie The Notebook. WAKE THE FUCK UP OR I NEVER RESPECT YOU

 

Since you guys asked so many, we’re also including a few of your wrestling questions. Because we’re nicer than you deserve.

 

Will The Legend be at Wrestlemania XXX? If so, we will buy all the beer you can drink. Are you up for the challenge?

-Omar Yanar

I COME TO THE WRESTLEMANIA %10000 I BE BAPPY I DRINK ALL YOUR BEER NO PROBLEM

 

Do you think Hulk Hogan can become a Maxim model?

-The PWW Army

He the howdy doody Hollywood blond jabroni but he never look like the real model Iron Sheik. I better than the half and half Brad Pitt. He look like fart of dead dog compare to legend.

 

Got a question for the Sheik? Leave it in the comments below! You can get more of The Iron Sheik’s words of wisdom on Twitter and Instagram.

 

Check out last week's Ask Sheik, or read The Iron Sheik Says "Go F**k Yourself!"