We never thought we’d say this, but…enough with the bacon already.
We get it, you guys. Bacon is good. As cured meats go, it’s top notch. If you put some bacon in front of the average person, they would say, “Hey, some bacon. That’s nice. I think I will have a piece because I enjoy the flavor and texture of this food. Thank you, mysterious meat deliverer, for this unexpected treat.” Now, can the Internet perhaps obsess over something else, please? (Yes, Maxim is complicit in this over-baconing of America. But the Maxim “Bacon Porn” series was an amazing, ahead-of-its-time feature when it first appeared in the magazine in 2007, and it really revolutionized the way we think about the American experience and just existence in general…okay, maybe not, but whatever.)
So, what’s the latest travesty in bacon products? Bacon condoms courtesy of J&D Foods, a company that must be composed of 27-year-old marketing geniuses who, between exchanging memes in emails, brainstorm ways to ruin perfectly good pork products.
Bacon. Condoms. Right, because after you come home from a long day making rage faces at work, and throw your trench coat and fedora in the closet, the first thing your girlfriend would like to see is your penis wrapped in a bacon-flavored prophylactic, coated in bacon lube (a real thing, too). So congrats, J&D Foods - the bacon fad has sizzled and you’ve ruined sex.
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