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Batman Is Real!!

The bad news is, he's British.

While there’s a pretty rich list of real people willing to strap on spandex and take on crime, few if any risk the significant copyright and trademark prosecution that would come with assuming the second identity of an established fictional character. Those that do (even half-assed), tend to get arrested. The most “successful” American hero, the MMA-trained Phoenix Jones, while famously stopping a few vehicular thefts, is most known for pepper spraying, like, everybody he possibly can in Seattle.

So leave it to the English of all people to do the superhero thing right. Yes, on February 25, a portly gentleman dressed as Batman delivered a wanted criminal to a police station in Bradford, England. The blubbery Bruce Wayne did the right thing: handed the accused thief and fraudster to the professionals. While not as satisfying as pepper spraying, Tasering, or otherwise assaulting those guilty until proven innocent, cooperating with the proper authorities is what real heroes do. They also, apparently, have sweet beer guts. 

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