As any New Yorker can confirm, riding the world's largest subway system means putting up with a lot of bullshit. But these videos capture both the best and worst of it—from the viral new "Panhandler Party," to rats holding court on a homeless person, to Jay-Z making friends with a nice old lady. Enjoy the ride.
On the New York City subways, it's a common refrain: "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't do drugs or steal, I'm just looking for a little help to get something to eat." They're known as panhandlers, and you're bound to encounter them on a daily basis. But this time, riders were in for a surprise when their subway car was overrun with panhandlers that included a well-heeled couple begging for "crisp bills" to help them pay their mortgage on a second home in Nantucket, a Wall Street dick looking for a handout to help make his Corvette payments, and a midget.
Jay-Z Meets a Nice Old Lady
Scroll to 19:00 to see a clip of the world's most famous rapper riding the subway to his headlining performance at the Barclay's Center. On the train, Jigga sits next to a lovely older woman named "Ellen," who asks him, "Are you famous?" to which he responds, "Yes. Not very famous, you don't know me. But I'll get there someday." He eventually admits that he's en route to perform at the new arena, prompting Ellen to exclaim, "And you're going by subway? I'm proud of you." We're proud of you too, Jay, though mostly for other reasons.
Rats Gone Wild
Remember Ratatouille, that adorable Disney movie about the dignified French chef who also happened to be a rat? Well, these New York City subway rats could stand to learn a few things from their foreign counterparts. Like, maybe pretend not to be rabid beasts around human beings, even if said humans happen to be sleeping in a public subway car. It's like these shameless vermin fuckers don't even care about common decency—or should we say, they don't give a rat's ass.
Teens Jumping Subway Platforms
Suffice it to say that this is why China is laughing at us. While their teenagers are studying nuclear physics and shit, ours are seeing if they can leap across the subway platforms without getting hit by a train.
Star Wars Subway Car
Let's just say that if we could coordinate anything as efficiently as these guys did this hilarious Star Wars subway spoof, we probably wouldn't be working at Maxim.
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