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Biggest Jerk Off Ever

Photo by Shannon Stapleton /Landov


In a bid to get his misdemeanor charges for jerking off on a crowded train and jizzing on a woman's jeans, um, tossed, 250-pound NYC resident Jason Mack stormed the steps of Manhattan Supreme Court, telling a reporter, "You know, the train be crowded--it was rush hour--and the lady bumped me. I know my DNA came on her. I apologize for that. That won't happen no more. I won't do that again."


We totally believe that he won't do it again, and want to take this opportunity to apologize to our girlfriends for the time our palms bumped into our penises while we were looking at pictures of their smoking hot sisters. That won't happen no more. Swearsies!


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