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Celebrities We Always Thought Were Related

Because we get confused when things look like other things.

Ever get confused about who’s related to whom in Hollywood? We know the Sheen men are related, we’re aware of Tom Hanks and his son, Colin, plus John Voight and Angelina Jolie, the Hemsworth brothers, and all those Baldwins who are…are they cousins? Brothers? A cult? Something like that, right? Anyway, because money is far more important than talent, Hollywood is pretty much a family business. That said, sometimes, amidst the glamour and drama and public meltdowns, we lose track of who’s actually related to each other. Here are six celeb family relationships that we thought were real (and kind of wish were).

Billy Crystal and Richard Simmons – Nephew and Uncle

Photo: John Shearer / WireImage & Ray Tamarra / Getty Images|Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

Most people have that peculiar, never-been-married uncle. Maybe he touched you one Thanksgiving, but you’re too young to remember? Maybe you touched him? Who can say for sure? All you know for a fact is that touching was involved, and a promise was made to never tell your mother. In Crystal’s case, surely that uncle is Richard Simmons. Because they have to be related. The hair, the cheery grins, the wacky expressions, the hair… they’re all too similar. Sadly, the world missed out on “The Crystal-Simmons Comedy Fitness Hour” (where you can laugh away the pounds!)

Matthew McConaughey and Bill Clinton – Father And Son

Photo: Jewel Samad / AFP / Getty Images & Donna Ward / Getty Images|Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

The Southern drawl, the womanizing, the air of sleazy, laidback cool - maybe ol’ Bill fooled around with a Texas gal in his prime and passed on his most attractive genes to create Matthew? That said, while we’ve never seen Bill with his shirt off, we’re guessing those abs came from his mother’s side.  

Russell Crowe and Gerard Butler – Brothers

Photo: Universal Pictures & Warner Bros. Entertainment | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

They’re both ultra-rugged, they both have funny accents in real life, and they both manage to make it look acceptable to pair a beard with teeny-tiny bangs and sandals. Much more suited to fight-y, stabby roles than romcoms, these two are like the permanently quarreling brothers who secretly love each other, but are too tough ever to show it…until it’s too late!*

*Dramatic swelling of violins, rain cascades down on a casket as one of them looks at the sky and screams, “NOOOOO!”

Mila Kunis And Sarah Hyland – Sisters

Photo: Christopher Polk / Getty Images & Getty Images|Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

There is no way that Sarah is not Mila’s little sister. Look at them! Both play the air-headed, sassy hot chick in most of their roles. Both have a gaze so smoky, you could use it to detect hidden laser beams in a secret bank vault. Also, look at them! If these two aren’t actually related, that means that somewhere, a factory is churning out girls who look like this for some nefarious purpose, and if that’s the case, will someone please tell us where the hell it is?

Ke$ha And a Raccoon – Mother And Daughter

Photo: Christopher Polk / Getty Images & Getty Images|Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

This one we’re pretty sure about, although we’re going purely by physical appearance, here. Personality-wise, they’re quite different: One of these two is a weirdly cute nocturnal creature who is habitually seen causing late-night disturbances and smashing bottles. The other one is a raccoon.

Want more funny? Check out Sneaky Moms and Celebrities Who Look Like Dinosaurs.


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