There are characters you root for and characters you want to knock out. If we had it our way, these leading men would be down for the count.

Kevin Bacon, <em>Footloose</em>- Okay, Ren, kudos for cranking Quiet Riot in that lady-killer VW, but bringing dancing to a small town is just corny… And so is dissin' John Lithgow.

Vanilla Ice, <em>Cool as Ice</em>- This laughable Hammer-lite was one thing in three-minute crap…we mean rap…videos, but for two hours as a leading man? We'd prefer Urkel: The Movie.

Hayden Christensen, <em>Star Wars: Episode II&mdash;Attack of the Clones</em>- Wasn't there anybody who could've beefed pouty-faced Christensen up by shouting, "Dude, you're playing Darth 'Fucking' Vader for Christ's sake, enough with the bratty douche baggery!" We heard Christensen's cringe-worthy performance even earned a few "oh puleases" from former Lucas boy candy Mark Hamill.

Patrick Swayze, <em>Dirty Dancing</em>- "Nobody puts baby in a corner?" Get serious. Jerry Orbach could still kick Swayze's ass, and he's been dead for years.

Jim Carrey, <em>Batman Forever</em>- Frank Gorshin, TV's Riddler, reportedly died of natural causes; we say check his VCR for this movie and his medicine cabinet for an empty vile of sleeping pills.

John Travolta, <em>Grease</em>- Let us get this straight: You're embarrassed to be seen with an Aussie hottie but not Putzie?

Robin Williams, <em>Father's Day</em>- See previous.

Robin Williams, <em>Father's Day</em>- See previous.