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Cheez Whiz and Hairy Seals Lurk the Earth!

Halloween should be full of sexy pirates...and sexy other stuff. Not Cheez Whiz.

You'd think with billions of dollars celebrities could at least do Halloween justice, but leave it to them to come up with some of the worst ideas we've ever seen. Below are some of our favorite examples.

Justine Bieber: An Egotistical Paparazzo

Photo by Jason LaVeris / Getty Images
Hey J Beebs, this is Halloween: Adding glasses to your daily pseudo-bad ass ensemble isn't going to cut it. Not to mention a signed copy of your riveting tell-all makes you look more in love with yourself than the crying tween to your right.

Heidi Klum and Seal: Adam's deranged apple and a tree with hair/naked Eve?

Photo by Jon Kopaloff / Getty Images
Heidi Klum is known for going all-out when it comes to Halloween costumes, but her apple/snake ordeal was a definite fail. Yes, her detailed make-up makes her look like she could belong in the animal kingdom, but when it comes down to it she's still just an apple. As for the model's ex-counterpart, we're not exactly sure what he's trying to be. Eve? A tree? A defiance of gender and nature? We don't want to think about him having lady bits so we're just going to go with the tree-with-hair thing (which is clearly wrong on multiple levels).

Tara Reid: Barbie...on crack?

Photo by Mike Coppola / Getty Images
The last time we played with our favorite 39'' bust, 18'' waist, 33'' hip friend, we didn't notice a crack stench coming from her plastic bod. Times have changed since then, but we're sure they haven't changed that much.

Kyle McLachlan: Cheez Whiz

Photo by Paul Zimmerman / Getty Images
We've always been a little skeptical of Cheez Whiz - except for on those drunken nights when you eat the clumped, processed paste over uncooked pasta - but seeing it in life-size form with an afro is more than we can bear. Not to mention, no one should ever own that much orange shit.

Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey: Milk and Cookies

Photo by Johnny Nunez / Getty Images
We're definitely fans of Mariah Carey, and the fact that she's dressed up in a nude onesie for that matter, but the walking milk carton accompanying her brings us back to the idea that they are made to be eaten together. And we're not big on cannibalism.

Take me to the funny stuff.
Show me some Halloween Hotties.