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Chris Pratt Loses His Belly; Chubby Dudes Lose Another Hero

America’s just not ready for tubby superheroes yet.


Courtesy of Chris Pratt/instagram


It’s been a tough few weeks for fat guys. First, beefy leading man James Gandolfini dies, and now Chris Pratt – hilarious chubster – reveals a svelte new man-hunk bod on Instagram. Gandolfini as Tony Soprano proved fat guys could be powerful, sexy, and damn fashionable. Pratt - as Parks and Reactions’ Andy Dwyer - was a chubby, oblivious dude-bro who managed to land Rashida Jones and Aubrey Plaza. The character even developed from an oafish man-boy guest star to a loveably un-self-aware cast member. Pratt slimmed down for his role as Starlord in upcoming collective box office “Huh?” Guardians of the Galaxy, based on the obscure comic book seven people on Earth actually know about. To be fair to Pratt, when playing a superhero who looks like a World War I German soldier if he space-traveled to the planet Teal, you probably shouldn’t have love handles. And to be doubly fair to Pratt, he was never Gandolfini-sized, just slightly on the jolly side. Still, it’s always a sad day when Fat Guy Nation loses such a famous citizen. Truly, you will be missed, Chris. And at least there’s still Val Kilmer!  

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