User menu

Main menu

Funny

Denver Sees a Spike in Porn Traffic Following Broncos' Super Bowl Loss

Because when your team gets defiled by the Seahawks, the only thing left to do is defile yourself.

According to data released this week by Pornhub.com, the Broncos' loss in Super Bowl XLVIII resulted in an 11 percent spike in porn traffic in Denver, while over in Seattle, there was a 17 percent drop following the game. In formal scientific terms, essentially that means that after the game, Denver fans were drunk and sad so they jerked off, while Seahawks fans were drunk and happy, so they didn't. So does this mean, then, that porn is, quite literally, for losers? Rather than attempt to answer that question, we're going to just step quietly away from it and pretend it doesn't exist, because that way our lives might still have meaning.

The real question is, what kind of porn were people in Colorado watching? We honestly don't want to know, but seeing as how Russell Wilson and the Seahawks dominated the game so thoroughly, we can only assume it was primarily BDSM and humiliation vids.

 

Also on Maxim.com:

Celebrities Talking About Poop
5 Sexy Ads for Unsexy Foods