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Do You Have the World's Smallest Penis?

Time to break out that tape measure key chain.

Photo: Marcelo Piotti / iStockPhoto | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

Giving you more confidence - or making you realize that your “little problem” is actually a massive upset (thanks mom) - Denmark’s smallest penis contest has come out of the wood work (giggle) to give proper attention to the horizontally challenged.

Sponsored by a Danish erotica website, contestants are asked to send in photos of their elongated, sausage link package stationed next to a melancholic tape measure in order to be considered. Female staff and website members will then go through the photos and vote on who they think is worthy of the genital deficient crown.

But wait, raw embarrassment to a female audience and gaining a less-than-honorable title is far from the final perk! The first prize winner gets a free iPhone while the two runner-ups recieve free iPads, because this is a logical cure for your self-deprecating tears. You’d think some form of enhancement would be in order, but Apple gadgets will have to suffice for now.

We guess that’s better than Howard Stern’s tactic of videotaping more innies than outies, and depositing them to the intricate web of the internet where they will remain forever.

Check out more penis measuring woes here!
Or get your mind off of the entire debate and switch genders.