In today’s crime news, a furry red monster wreaks havoc in Times Square (no, not Shaun White).
Because we know how fast rumors spread on the Internet, we feel a professional, journalistic duty to report that it was not the real Elmo hurling anti-Semitic comments in Times Square. It’s actually a grown man masquerading as Elmo and his name is Adam Sandler. But it’s not that Adam Sandler, either, so don’t tweet just yet. While Adam Sandler’s (the actor’s) worst offense may be his involvement in Jack and Jill, the other Adam Sandler has much worse credits to his name: in the 1990s, he traveled to Cambodia to start a porn site whose name we don't even want to write here (come on, you have Google, use it). Anyway, “Elmo” was sentenced to two days of community service, but given his prior arrests for similar incidents, he’s probably not going to change his ways any time soon. So if you find yourself in Times Square, think twice before allowing your nephew to take a photo with his favorite Sesame Street Character.