These BFFs turned out to be total dicks.
Caesar and Brutus
It was today, March 15th, about 16,000 years ago (don’t check our math) when Caesar was stabbed in the back, literally, by his main dude Marcus Brutus (and also like 60 other guys). The assassination was a response to Caesar’s growing power and appointment as “Dictator-for-Life,” a term we’ve tried to assume several times around the Maxim office to no avail. Seriously, Brutus? You killed Caesar because he liked power? It’s not like he was banging your mom. Oh, wait, he totally was.
Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin
Mark, in his sophomore year, met Eduardo, who was a junior at the time, at Harvard. The older/younger dynamic can be a tricky thing in college, especially if you are the younger, but here is what we recommend: launch a website from an idea that you might have stolen on the dime of your older compatriot while staging a coup to suddenly and cold-heartedly force him out of the company as soon as success is inevitability (or at least that's what the movie told us; movies never lie, right?) That’s how most normal human beings handle that.
Brett Favre and All of Wisconsin
As a supposedly community-owned team, the Packers tend to bleed a little green-er than the rest. So when this good ol’ boy decided to book it for the Jets, and eventually Green Bay’s hated rival the Minnesota Vikings, it was a real dick move on his part. Speaking of dick moves, well, you know the rest.
Garfield and Odie
Garfield dislikes tons of things – working out, spiders, Mondays, Nermal – but he likes Odie, the dim-witted beagle that he cohabitates with, the least. Garfield breeds (no pun intended) a combative relationship with the dog, knocking him off tables at every opportunity. You’d think that the two pets would unite under a common goal – surviving life in Jon Arbuckle’s, where the desperate depression hangs thick in the air.
Judas and Jesus
Judas Iscariot was truly ahead of his time. Old Izzy is like the Neil Armstrong of being a dick to your bestie; he did it first and did it in a way that would give Michael Corleone chills – with a kiss. Judas sent his dude Jesus to his death for 30 pieces of silver; most likely so he could buy a jet-ski (biblical scholars have yet to confirm this fact, but we feel pretty good about it).
Lando Calrissian and Han Solo
To be fair, the former owner of the Millennium Falcon eventually redeemed himself, but Lando was coerced into bailing on his buddy Han Solo by the original man in black (sorry J.J. Abrams), Darth Vader. Han Solo was probably not the easiest guy to be friends with, but why you gotta do him like that, Billy Dee? We trusted you and your super-smooth voice.
Walter White and Jesse Pinkman
Spoilers ahoy! These two have ridden the rocky road that methamphetamine-centered relationships usually do, but they really did come out the other side as pals. That is, if you discount when Walt watched Jesse’s girlfriend die without doing anything to help, made Jesse murder a man, poisoned Jesse’s new girlfriend’s child, repeatedly lied to him, and trapped him in a dangerous business that he desperately wants out of. Otherwise: best buds!
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