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Fast Food Bomb Menace!

Houston City Council says food trucks are a terrorist threat. Seriously.

Gluttony must not be as deadly of a sin as the more pious once thought, because food trucks have been a gobsmacking Godsend. Some of the better ones have freed themselves from the punishing restrictions of chain restaurant serfdom and are able to create delicious treats that mere mortal eateries can’t even fathom. The only limit is their imagination (and our dangerously high cholesterol levels and health insurance premiums).

Of course, not everyone is in favor of letting these mobile mavericks feed the hungry masses. What could be behind such evil chicanery? What else - it’s politics! It’s the only entity on Earth that could take something as beautiful and wondrous as food trucks, preventing insurance companies from making fatally ill children pay their own hospital bills and getting some stock-room nookie from the office intern seem like something that could destroy the fabric of America’s greatness.

Houston’s City Council rightfully earned themselves a spot on the candidate list for A-Hole of the Decade when one of its extremely paranoid councilmen, Andrew C. Burks, railed against food trucks. He actually said during an open session that he was worried that food trucks using propane tanks present a serious terrorist threat to the downtown Houston area. The only thing crazier than that is that he said it again after an official from their own fire department said they couldn’t be considered a problem as long as the trucks followed all of the necessary safety regulations.

That means by Burks’ own logic (assuming he has any), this man is the greatest enabler of terrorism since the Taliban:

Hilarity ensues here.
Ladies can be found here.