Shirty
Edgar: "Shirty" means getting kind of annoyed. It's sort of like, "We were getting really shirty." I suppose it's being a bit prickly.
Nick: Yeah, it's probably one under "angry." You would become angry after being shirty. But it's also kind of like when you pick somebody up on it, like, "Oh don't get so shirty."
Tickety-boo
Edgar: "Tickety-boo" is the opposite of "shirty." "Tickety-boo" is everything is fine, basically.
Nick: It's our version of the word "copacetic."
Piece of piss
Edgar: Easy. It's our version of easy as pie.
Nick: Yeah, but I've also heard it used as an insult, if you call someone a piece of piss.
Edgar: That would be like saying you long streak of piss. That's usually about someone who's really irritating.
Bangs like a crap house doorNick: Well, that's basically a slut—someone who just fucks all the time. Any kind of boob-flashing girls in Girls Gone Wild. They all bang like crap house doors.
Toss pot
Edgar: "Toss pot" is sort of like saying wanker.
Nick: It's basically a bowl of semen, and you are likening him to a bowl full of human seed.
Dick splash
Edgar: That's like dropping the batter-bomb—a drop of spooge. But essentially a "dick splash" is like saying, "Streak of piss," like calling someone a wanker.
Nick: It's also the noise a massive ---- makes when it's pissing. You can have dick splash and also daddy splash. If he's making a noise like a daddy splash you know he's got a big knob.
Nobhead
Edgar: Again, wanker. The Eskimos have a hundred words for snow, and the British have a hundred different words for wanker.
Nick: With nobhead you'd never pronounce the "h." It's "nob-ead." It's someone who upsets you slightly, rather than actually you hate. It's a low-class insult.
Edgar: You can also say that as a term of affection like, "Ello, Nob-ead!"
Rubber JohnnyNick: A condom.
Edgar: Where does that derive from, Nick?
Nick: I have no idea, actually. Sorry, I've let you all down.
It's the dog's bollocks
Edgar: That's like saying something's brilliant. It's the same as saying it's the cat's pajamas or it's the bee's knees.
Rat-arsed
Both: Drunk.
Edgar: As in, "I was completely rat-arsed."
Nick: Or, "You're rat-arsed, you nob-ead." You can put these together, too.
Slag
Edgar: A slut. One of the girls who would bang like a crap house door. In the U.K., it would probably be called Slags Gone Wild.
Nick: In east London, it's also an insult when a man calls another man a slag. It's quite rough when you do it.
Screw that for a game of soldiers
Edgar: I don't know where that actually comes from, but that's like, "I can't be bothered." Sort of, "I'm not gonna do that, screw that for a game of soldiers."
Nick: I actually think it comes from The Charge of the Light Brigade.
I haven't heard from him in Yonks
Nick: "Yonks" means a long time.
Easy as falling off a logEdgar: That's like piece of piss. You can cross-reference these.
And a few of their personal favorites:
Edgar: I really like "Meatloaf's daughter." That means like a big crap.
Nick: My personal favorite is "Smashing the granny out of it." If you're having really hard-core rough sex with your girl, afterward you would probably go see your friends in the pub and say, "Yeah, I fucking smashed the granny out of it."
Edgar: I also always think of "bellend" as a funny expression. It's like nobhead. Like, "Don't be a huge bellend, buy the Hot Fuzz DVD on July 31!
Nick: Otherwise I'll smash the grannies out of you, you twag.