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Have 12 Crappy Months With This Poop-Covered Girls Calendar

It's for environmental reasons. Apparently.


Photo by Ben Thacker/Fertile Earth Foundation

If you're looking for a way to amp-up your dreary office cubicle, look no further: Thanks to the Fertile Earth Foundation, you can spend your grueling work hours starring at hot girls covered in poop! No, this isn't a joke: A Miami-based group is encouraging people to use their own feces as compost by releasing a calendar featuring 12 photos of half-naked women sitting on toilets, or relaxing in bathtubs full of manure. The project took seven months to complete, and can be yours for the mere sum of $25 (and your sanity). Not for you? Here are five more unfortunate creations we're telling you not to spend your money on (unless you really love squirrels. Which...we do. Damn it).

Lay Z Gaga Calendar
According to its owner, this dog "aspires" to be like her human counterpart: Mildly irritating Madonna/Marilyn Manson hybrid Lady Gaga. Featuring photos of "Lay Z" (get it?!) sporting a long blonde wig, a bacon ensemble emulating the pop star's infamous meat dress, and gnawing on a bone made of spikes, this calendar alone justifies the SPCA's existence.

Goats In Trees
Sadly, this is exactly what it sounds like: Goats posing in treetops. Which is great and all, but it's never going to compare to this video, is it?

Nuns Having Fun
When nuns aren't praying, singing, and robbing banks, they're apparently laughing their asses off while mowing the lawn and heading down a log flume. We're happy they enjoy the little things in life, but honestly, we'd rather see them doing keg stands and break-dancing in neon jumpsuits. Can someone get on that, please?

Nice Jewish Guys
12 months dedicated to the nice Jewish guy down the street? Sounds like a perfect birthday gift for your grandmother. Shalom!

Naughty Squirrels
This calendar features pictures of squirrels doing things we expect them to, like eating your plants. Which is extremely frustrating when you've paid $20 for what you assumed was a high-end bestiality calendar. Er, we imagine.

No more YOLO, LOL!
Calendar Girls