A new breed of plant-powered pro athletes is proving that not all vegans look like Moby. “You can be a tough guy and a vegetarian,” says Strikeforce MMA middleweight champion Jake Shields. “I’ve been kicking ass all my life, and I think the meat industry is gross.” Shields is among several meat-eschewing badasses, including UFC fighter Mac Danzig, pro arm wrestler Rob Bigwood, and Atlanta Falcons tight end Tony Gonzalez. John Joseph, singer for punk legends the Cro-Mags and author of Meat Is for Pussies, credits his vegan diet for his ability to train for an Ironman triathlon at age 47. “I’m not calling you a pussy if you eat meat, but eating all those chemicals and hormones will turn you into one.” The health benefits are echoed by Rip Esselstyn, former pro triathlete and author of The Engine 2 Diet. “Guys think they’re being masculine by eating bacon and burgers, but in reality it’s making them flaccid. Clogged arteries are the leading cause of erectile dysfunction.” OK, from now on we’re wrapping our chili dogs (and our penises) in kale.