Look into your crystal ball and belieb….
From the news desk of "We Saw This Coming," Justin Bieber was arrested in Miami last night for drag-racing while intoxicated. This unshocking development comes on the heels of his countless other misbehaviors and criminal activity over the past year. Let's rehash, shall we?
So far, The Biebs has been involved in: felonious egging, fighting with paps, drug busts, more drug busts, spitting on people, spitting on people with bonus death threat, peeing in mop buckets while disrespecting former U.S. Presidents, visiting brothels, dropping major coin at strip clubs, boozing it up with underage gals who can't hold their liquor, shirtless partying, shirtless hissy fits, shirtless Segway-driving, and worst of all, taking a nudey photo of himself in his grandmother's home. Poor Nana!
Now that Justin's transformation from squeaky clean pop star to bad-boy douchebag is complete, we were curious to find out how much further he'll sink. So we consulted with tarot card reader Courtney Weber to see what the future has in store for the The Biebs. We're guessing more shirtless spitting. Belieb it!
JUSTIN'S CURRENT SITUATION
CARDS: The Sun and the Devil, Reversed.
MEANING: This young guy deserves his own book entitled: DENIAL. The Devil is about addictions, sabotage, damage - but when it's in reverse these things are being totally ignored in favor of the Sun: the shiny, happy outlook. He seems to think he's going to walk away as a golden Christ-child lookalike, while the world around him looks like Armageddon. If I were his publicist, I'd be applying for waitress gigs right about now.
OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS
CARDS: 5 of Wands in Reverse, 10 of Cups, The Empress Reversed
MEANING: Looks like he's going to try to re-apply that Good Boy paint again and simmer down for a bit. Some sort of emotional apology may be offered to the good people of the world, but it's not real and it won't last. The cards also revealed the King of Swords Reversed and the High Priestess in Reverse: More bad judgments and more of the same - probably another DUI or egg-throwing tantrum. Cover your eyes and peek through your fingers, viewers! He didn't learn his lesson and he's not about to learn it any time soon.
OVER THE NEXT THREE MONTHS
CARDS: 2 of Cups and Temperance
MEANING: Smells like Teen Rehab! There's also a 2 of Wands in there for good measure, which usually means travel. My psychic senses (and common senses) are saying this kid is going to be sent away to some place expensive...here's hoping for him it's not Club Fed!
CARDS: 7 of Pentacles Reversed and Page of Pentacles Reversed
MEANING: Damn. Glad I'm not his financial serf.....this kid is about to lose a ton of money, probably through canceled contracts or appearances. My cards are screaming, "Seriously, Money People. Don't Put It In Bieber!" Overall, the Tarot is saying this is the beginning of the end for Bieber's teen-idol status (if he ever had one to begin with!). Here comes the ranks of Has-Beens and Tabloid Bait!
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