Our fashion-forward panel celebrates Old Glory’s annual exultation (June 14, Save-The-Daters!) by deconstructing other countries’ icky emblems.
1. SAUDI ARABIA
Andrew: The sword is quiet but pointed, and I can only imagine what the text says. Hopefully it explains how this flag is completely badass.
Ann C.: I like the pretty sword. It says “religion of peace” to me.
Jim: Normally, to see this shade of green, you’d have to drop enough acid to paralyze a medium-size rhinoceros.
Anne S.: Makes me feel like my mother is yelling at me so loudly that I can’t understand a word she’s saying. But it doesn’t matter because she is about to lop my head off with that sword.
2. ARGENTINA
Andrew: The sky blue sets up the sun nicely—and what a sun it is! This flag rules. Deal with it.
Jim: This looks like the Pan Am logo. The pained expression on the sun’s face reminds me of a 10-year-old playing a sunflower in the school play.
Anne S.: This has a certain sexy arrogance that I find appealing.
Nolé: That light blue’s so fresh, so spring. Paired with the white and yellow of the summer sun? Girl! Argentina’s flag better work!
3. BERMUDA
Andrew: The ship on the shield doesn’t appear to have any sails, which would explain why it’s crashing into the rocks.
Jim: Nothing I love more than a flag that can’t make up its mind. It’s almost as if half the country wanted to be British and the other half wanted to live on Fraggle Rock.
Anne S.: What a mess, but it looks like a good time.
4. IRAN
Jim: Reminds me of Italy, if Italy were run by a sociopath in a Members Only jacket.
Nolé: Looks like Italy’s flag: the red sole of a Louboutin stiletto, the white of an Armani spring suit, and the green of a Fendi purse, all with a Middle Eastern twist. Fierce!
Ann C.: Where have I seen this flag before? Oh, yeah, I remember: flying at Sean Penn’s house.