Jokes

Our huge archive of hilarious jokes, silly one-liners, biting zingers and classic gags.

Jokes

Q: What do girls and rocks have in common?

Q: What do girls and rocks have in common?A: Everyone skips the flat ones.JessePeyton, CO

Jokes

Q: How do you know you're getting old?

Q: How do you know you’re getting old?A: Your wife gives up sex for Lent and you don’t find out until Easter.Mike Schuster

Jokes

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?

Q: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?A: Homeless.Frank WhitleyPalo Alto, CA

Jokes

How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Q: How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Just one, but it takes a surgical team to get it out. Frank Lib St. Louis, MO

Jokes

What is a specimen?

Q:What is a specimen?A: An Italian astronaut.

Jokes

Why did the blonde get excited after finishing the jigsaw puzzle in six months?

Q: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing the jigsaw puzzle in six months?A: Because the box said, “4 to 6 years.”Josh MartensSeattle, WA

Jokes

What's gray and comes in quarts?

Q: What’s gray and comes in quarts?A: An elephant.

Jokes

Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?

Q: Why don’t women blink during foreplay?A: ’Cause they don’t have time!BertieOromocto, ME

Jokes

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

Q: What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?A: It may take me a while to get hard—I just got laid last night.”Noah WilcoxPortola Valley, CA

Jokes

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?A: He doesn’t want anybody to know he fucks chickens.

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