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"Lay in This Coffin! You'll Love It!"

And other questionable methods of therapy.



It seems safe to assume that most of us fear death, and further, that we find the idea of being buried alive particularly distasteful. But one Ukrainian coffin-maker would like us all to reconsider. Sort of. Stepan Piryanyk is offering potential future customers the opportunity to chill out in a coffin for 15 minutes, claiming that the experience is therapeutic, and encourages inner peace and relaxation. Weird, because it sounds like it would be the exact opposite of those things. Still, we have to admit that it's no weirder than these other bizarre methods of therapy.

1. Maggot Debridement Therapy

Yes, maggots may eat away at your decaying flesh when you’re six feet under, but apparently they can also act as a lifesaver when you’re above ground. In the late 1920s, William Baer began to apply larvae to wounds, believing that it would make the tissue heal quicker and more efficiently. He treated children with Osteomyelitis (a fancy word for a bacterial infection in your bone marrow and bones), as well as other soft tissue infections, watching the insects clean out the wound and simply leave after the dead tissue was gone. Ninety-eight kiddie lab rats later, Baer’s findings were published, and the method was practiced by physicians throughout the ‘30s. Today, the therapy isn't as widely used, although technically anyone with a lab coat and a prescription pad can still prescribe it.

2. Slapping Beauty Therapy

Everyone seems to be looking for the Fountain of Youth, some finding it in torture-inducing needles while others just find it in significantly younger partners, but could we have taken it all a bit too far with this slapping therapy? Perhaps. A Thai natural health practitioner (which sounds reliable, RIGHT?) swears you can look younger by subjecting yourself to being repeatedly bitch-slapped in the face. The best part? She charges $350 for the service. Sorry lady, but here in New York we can get that for free from the homeless guy outside the office.

3. Snake Massage Therapy

Laying under a pile of snakes sounds like kind of a drag, but according to some crazy woman in Israel that's the best way to knead out your body kinks. For the price of €30 (approximately $40 USD), you can have a multitude of snakes slither across your naked body. Although these particular creatures are supposedly nonvenomous, we don't trust any creature that's most comfortable when it's strangling another creature. Unless it's Homer Simpson.

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