User menu

Main menu


Maxim Bickers with Statler and Waldorf of The Muppets

In honor of the Muppets’ return to the big screen, we bicker with cranky balcony stalwarts Statler and Waldorf.

You had a show where you reviewed movies, Statler & Waldorf: From the Balcony. How would you review The Muppets?
It’s like no movie you’ve ever seen before.
WALDORF: And if you’re lucky, it’ll be like no movie you ever see again.
S&W: Ho-ho-ho-ho!

This is your seventh major movie. Will you finally get top billing?
We don’t want top billing.
WALDORF: In fact, we’d be happy with no billing at all.
STATLER: Yeah, especially from our doctor’s office!
S&W: Ho-ho-ho-ho!

What do you think of costars Jason Segel and Amy Adams?
Jason Segel is a very funny performer.
STATLER: That’s why we can’t figure out what he’s doing in this movie.
WALDORF: As for Amy Adams, let’s just say I’m in love with her.
STATLER: You can’t be in love with her—I’m in love with her.
WALDORF: You! You’re old enough to be her grandfather.
STATLER: You’re old enough to be my grandfather.

What’s your favorite heckle?
Here’s a classic: “Hey, that wasn’t half bad!”
WALDORF: “You’re right! It was all bad!” And who can forget this gem: “There’s nothing like a good joke.”
STATLER: “Yeah, and that was nothing like a good joke.”

What’s your favorite thing about Maxim?
The women.
WALDORF: Y’mean there’s other stuff in Maxim?
STATLER: Not that I’ve ever noticed.

Could Miss Piggy be on Maxim’s cover?
Not unless it was a multipanel foldout.
STATLER: Piggy on the cover would hurt newsstand sales.
WALDORF: And probably break the newsstand.

What are young men lacking that men your age have?
Lower back pain.
STATLER: The ability to get up seven times in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.

What’s your drink of choice?
A prunetini.
STATLER: I’ll have what he’s having.

How do you want to be remembered?
As someone who cared deeply about people.
WALDORF: That sounds nothing like you.
STATLER: Yeah, but once I'm gone, who's gonna know the difference?
WALDORF: I'll have what he's having.

What have you learned about each other after sitting together for 36 years?
He’s the tall one.
STATLER: And he’s the one with the mustache.

The Muppets hits theaters November 23.