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Meet Gina, the Porn-Addicted Chimp

Finally, indisputable proof that humans evolved from monkeys.


Photo: Jong kiam Soon / iStockPhoto | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

Let's play a game called "anyone who doesn't believe in evolution is delusional." Here's how it works: first, you read about the chimp who's addicted to porn, and then you try to convince us that humans weren't descended from apes. See how much fun we're having already?! This game is the best!

Here's the story: There is a chimpanzee named Gina. Gina lives at the Seville Zoo in Spain. And according to people who know about these things, Gina is addicted to porn. Not in an "I have an internet connection and opposable thumbs so I might as well jerk off" kind of way, mind you. Gina is more refined than that.

It seems caretakers at the zoo decided to supply Gina with a television and remote control—because, who wouldn't want to see a monkey channel surfing? That's hilarious!—and before long, a pattern emerged. There was only one sort of program she was interested in watching: pornography. All day, every day, whenever she could get it.

Sound familiar? If you're anything like us, it should.

So, thanks to Gina and her human-like obsession with porn, we can all sleep better knowing once and for all that monkeys are indeed our ancestors.

(Now that we've established that, it should be noted that the original source for this story is El Mundo, and since we don't really speak Spanish, we're basing most of this on their headline, "Gina, la chimpancé adicta al porno." If it turns out that "adicta al porno" actually means "not at all interested in porn," we're going to be really embarrassed.)


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