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News Flash: Jesus Disrupts Darts Tournament

A long-haired, lustrous-bearded ginger was thrown out of a UK darts competition this past weekend due to his supposedly uncanny resemblance to Jesus - uncanny, that is, if you consider his having a beard and long hair to be "uncanny". 33-year-old Nathan Grindal - who was enjoying the televised match-up in Somerset, England - was heckled by 4,500 booze-soaked darts enthusiasts who imaginatively chanted, "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!", but despite being the victim of the abuse, it was Grindal who found himself abruptly ejected from the arena after security officials panicked that his presence would distract the players. It seems their fears were at least somewhat well-founded, since competition winner Phil Taylor was later quoted as saying, "If I ever see Jesus again, I'll crucify him myself". We're guessing we're not alone in thinking these are pretty harsh words, coming from a guy whose "sport" is most popularly practiced by skinny jean-wearing hipsters in Brooklyn dive bars. News flash, dude - about the only thing that was surprising to us about this entire incident is that there's a country out there that actually televises darts.



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