For all the miles you’ve logged on the toilet throughout your lifetime, you’re probably pretty confident about your ability to poo. But the creators of Squatty Potty have a message for you: You’ve been shitting like a chump. Because all along, you’ve been sitting on the pot, when in fact, you should be squatting over it. Blame Western civilization and the toilet industry’s ever-evolving technology that makes us never want to get off the pot, but parking your ass on a toilet seat inhibits your colon’s natural ability to do its thang, which can cause constipation, hemorrhoids and really pitiful turds. If you don’t want your colon to get all gross and scrunched up, if you want your poos to be bountiful and more satisfying, you have to squat. We’re sorry, that’s just how it has to be.
The good news is that you don’t have to perch on the toilet like Gollum on a porcelain rock. The Squatty Potty is a custom-designed stool (heh) that pulls up to your toilet for easy squatting and semi-squatting positions. Just place your feet on it, crouch and crap. And unlike the girl pictured below, you should probably take your pants off first.