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Scientists Create A Skull-Window So They Can Shoot Lasers At Your Brain

We do love an alarmist headline around here.

Courtesy of Science Direct/Elsevier Ltd.


Scientists at University of California, Riverside, have developed a skull-window implant that renders a portion of the brain visible at all times. The idea is to insert the material – the catchily-named yttria-stabilized zirconia, sometimes seen in dental crowns – into the skulls of patients with neurological disorders, thereby allowing repeated laser-treatments without the need to surgically open up the skull each time. Everything about this is amazing, for medical and scientific reasons, obviously, but even more importantly, because now we can mindlessly speculate on how we’d use our brains as a fashion accessory in the future. At last!


Courtesy of UC RIverside


So, when complete skull sunroofs are available to all, how will you choose to display your brain? Here are a few options to consider before undergoing the future’s most popular form of cosmetic surgery!



The Push Up Brain


As Seen On:

DC Comics villain Psimon


The Look:

This one both pushes up and squeezes together your sexy, sexy lobes, showing the maximum amount of moist, fleshy pink cerebral tissue without actually showing off all the really naughty parts, like the Occipital Lobe (hot!) or the Basal Ganglia (super hot!)

Courtesy of DC Comics


The Centerpiece


As Seen On:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles head baddie, Krang


The Look:

This is for the more attention-seeking gentleman – as well as showcasing the entire brain in a clear display case in the center of the body, it also relies on an eye-catching pair of bright red Speedos and matching gloves. It’s more high fashion than practical streetwear, but hey, sometimes you just have to rock that shit.

Courtesy of Lions Gate


The Pedestal With Beret-Wearing Gorilla Accessory


As Seen On:

DC Comics’ Monsieur Mallah and The Brain


The Look:

Ok, we can stop here. Nothing else on Earth will ever be as cool as being carried around by a French gorilla with a bandolier of 7.62 ammunition slung over its hairy, probably very sarcastic shoulder. The future’s going to be awesome, you guys!

Courtesy of DC Comics


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