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The 4 Most Annoying (But Catchy) Songs About Star Trek

But mostly annoying.


Star Trek Into Darkness is out and setting moviegoers’ butts to “numb” right now. The film rather cheerily sets its end credits to the original Trek score, which made us think – what other memorable music has the franchise brought us? In search of answers, we went to YouTube. Then we had a little cry and wished we’d never asked the question.


The Star Trek: The Episodes Guide Song

Why someone felt the need to list every single Next Generation episode – all 178 of them – in the form of a jaunty song is beyond us, although we’re going to admit to liking this one on the basis that it reminds us of Animaniacs’ Countries Of The World song, which, as we’ve hinted at before, we regard to be possibly humanity’s greatest achievement to date. Since we can barely make out a word he’s singing in the verses, we’re going to take his word for it that these were actual episode titles and not gibberish, which, really, is more credit than he deserves. What can we say? We’re just big-hearted.


Star Trekkin’

This kinda-sorta Star Trek hoedown may be the single most irritating song ever written, and it is therefore far and away the funniest thing to replace every single song on your buddy’s iPod with when he’s about to take a 17-hour flight. As unrelentingly awful as this song obviously is, it gets bonus points for including the Bones/Scotty quote-mangling of, “It’s worse than that, it’s physics, Jim!”


Star Trek Rhapsody

In the pantheon of extremely irritating songs, Bohemian Rhapsody is destined to always remain somewhere near the top, not least for the number of attempts it took us to spell it. Yes, it was hilarious back when Wayne’s World came out, but since then it has remained a blight on all karaoke nights everywhere, which, when you consider the hell karaoke is on its own, is really saying something. This version takes the middle part (i.e., the only bit anyone really enjoys) and replaces it with stuff about photon torpedoes and warp drives. Oddly enough, it actually makes more sense than the original.


Star Trek IV Rap

Better known as “that one with the whales where Spock knocks a dude out for playing punk music”, Star Trek IV was, unlike the other movies in the series, a light-hearted time-travel comedy. Naturally, someone with not much going in their lives decided that this inherently leant itself to a descriptive rap song, because reasons. If only someone would do this with '80s movies we actually like, such as Predator, Robocop, or Aliens. Oh, wait…they already have.


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