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The 5 Craziest State Mottos

When they were handing out slogans, these guys must have been last in line.

We’re not going to say we were completely unaware of state mottos, (we’re pretty sharp here at Maxim, in case you hadn’t noticed) but we assumed that they were all fairly inane - something like “Kansas: A pie cooling in every window” or “South Dakota: At least we aren’t North Dakota - those guys suck.” Turns out, state mottos are just as bizarre and nonsensical as the politicians that run them. Join us on a tour of these United States by way of their absurd slogans, from sea to shining sea.

Minnesota – “The star of the North”
We like your spunk Minnesota, and we will not deny that you have a daunting mall, a wonderful fictional youth hockey team (The Mighty Ducks), and an unwavering love of everything dairy that even we are begrudgingly impressed by. However, to call yourself the “star” of a region that includes Philadelphia, New York, Washington, and your cheese rival Wisconsin, might be overreaching. Let’s start with the “chippy underdog of the North” and we’ll go from there.

Maryland – “Manly deeds, womanly words”
Marylanders will try to exonerate themselves of this antiquated saying by claiming that they do not have a state motto. While technically true, these crab crunchers aren't off the hook, as the words, first introduced by the Calvert family, still adorn the state seal, which makes it all but officially the motto.

Michigan - “If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you”
Finally, a motto with some practical use. We cannot begin to tell you how many times we’ve wished and dreamed for a pleasant peninsula, only to find out later that we were on one the entire time. Michigan eliminates this conundrum entirely with one suggestion: “look about you.” Thanks, Wolverine State, we never would have thought of that.

Montana – “Gold and silver”
While Montana’s motto seems a tad materialistic, we respect Big Sky Country for laying it all out there. Namely, “we don’t have much here, but we have what counts: enough gold and silver to make Rick Ross weak in the knees. What do all you guys have? Peace, liberty, justice? Let’s see you build a 24-karat statue of a cowboy hat worth $11 million with those. MONTANA OUT.”

New Mexico - “It grows as it goes”
New Mexicans will insist that their motto, adapted in 1882, is taken from an epic poem by Lucretius called "De Rerum Natura." But all it takes is two ears and a slightly dirty mind to know what this is really referring to. Your nickname - “Land of Enchantment” isn’t helping your case. Also - 1882? You aren’t “New” at all, are you?

BONUS MOTTO! Puerto Rico – “John is his name”
Just because it’s not a state doesn’t mean it can’t get in on the crazy motto fun. The commonwealth got right into the spirit with this head-scratcher. John is whose name, Puerto Rico? No, I get it - it’s John’s name – but we don’t know who John is. It’s like you’re answering a question that we didn’t ask. Oh, it’s John the Baptist? You could have saved us a whole lot of runaround if you told us that to begin with. Whatever man, you aren’t even a state.

5 States That Have State Dinosaurs.
Couch Potato Babes.