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The 7 Least Sexy Ads Ever Made

Sex sells, but unfortunately not for everyone.

The dynamic duo of sex and advertising is the best thing to happen to humanity since food (yes, food, so it's pretty awesome), but unfortunately not every ad leaves us begging for more. Some "sexy" ads turn out to be anything but, and can open your eyes to a world you never wanted to imagine, let alone be a part of. Unfortunately, we were granted the opportunity to scour the web for the least sexy ads that have ever been created. While we were lucky enough to gain a few laughs from some, others scarred us forever, and we're still looking for a legitimate way to annihilate our corneas. So good luck, and be sure to keep sharp objects at bay.


Toilet paper is not sexy because you wipe your ass with it. Not much else needs to be said, except, apparently, that these two scantily clad people should definitely not have sex in that warehouse bathroom because of possible venereal diseases lurking in its crevices. And in that toilet. And especially in that man thong.


Diesel has a lot of weird commercials, but they tend to make up for it by having an abundance of sexy girls in them (some are so sexy, they've been banned). But this one is lacking in sexy girls - well, sexy anything for that matter - plus, we're not even entirely sure what the hell is going on. All we know is someone's ass is lacking some major sun exposure and that's probably why it can't seem to hide from that shoe.

Bill Gates in Teen Beat

Computers are great, but they aren't sexy. Especially when they're clunky and have an equally un-sexy man lounging his yuppie body across them. Bill Gates, this is not the way to sell a computer. Unless you're actually promoting "Abstinence Only" programs, then the point is well-taken.

Burger King

What kind of freak would think giving fellatio to a sandwich is sexy?! Ok, fine, we'll rephrase: What kind of freak would think giving fellatio to a Burger King sandwich is sexy? Not to mention that her look of complete and utter terror regarding the imposing "seven incher" makes this ad ineffective and mildly uncomfortable for the viewer. BK, if you were trying to create a hot ad, you probably should have found a model who was into that sort of thing.

Carl's Jr.

Leafy greens full of nutrients don't exactly get us going, and Kim Kardashian sucking on some dressing doesn't cut it either (well, it doesn't hurt, but we're kind of freaked out that she gets that turned on by a salad. It's not a steak, for crying out loud). Not to mention this kind of meal is not messy. It's neatly placed in a plastic container, with a top. Unless she slathered those apples and feta on her body, an overly bubbled bath is not needed.


Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both participants, not lead to a near fatality for one of them. This Durex ad, showcasing their 9.5'' condoms (sorry dude but you don't need one), will only harm you in the end: good luck trying to talk your girl into a trip downstairs, since this ad only shows why below the belt should be an off-limits zone. Hello, celibacy!

Playstation 2

If this picture was void of everything except the hot girl in lingerie, it would be one thing. But the fact that she's practically entrapped by multiple pillows with chest hair glistening with sweat makes us cringe. Plus there's a creepy dude in the back coming into the room; what is he doing there and what does he want? We're not sure, but his long trench-coat seems ominous.

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