These guys have the mug shrubs you've wished you could grow since puberty. 

Winner: Abraham Lincoln- One of the greatest figures in American history, and anyone who's seen a penny or five-dollar bill lately knows he was no pretty boy like JFK. Luckily, his beard covered up much of his skeleton-like visage, allowing him do other important stuff, like free slaves.

2. Castro- Now that he's retired, Fidel has lots of time to sit back and work 50 years of tangles out of this grungy mop of his. Maybe if he shaves it off completely, he'll find a secret love of capitalism. Probably not, though.

3. King Tut- Tutankhamen's goat was so epic that they immortalized it on his big, gold Sarcophagus. He loses points, though, for encouraging Slipknot and all of those other terrible bands to follow suit.

4. Charles Darwin- There are lots of different views on Darwin's work with evolution, but almost everyone can agree that his chin growth is at the top of the facial hair food chain.