Being little hasn't stopped these brave actors from playing iconic movie characters… who are little.
11. UGNAUGHTS- (The Empire Strikes Back)
Before he, too, realized that he could CGI everything to death, George Lucas' Star Wars films provided more work for tiny actors than any other franchise in history. Like the Ugnaughtsthe tiny, pig-like Cloud City janitors who not only tear C-3PO to pieces, but have the cajones to fuck with Chewbacca when he comes to the droid's rescue. So what if he's eight times their size? Lando Calrissian barely pays them a livable wage, they have bigger problems.
10. MASTER- (Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome)
No matter what you think of MMBT and its chilling suggestion that, post-apocalypse, the world will refashion itself in the image of an 80s music video, the movie got one thing very, very right. Call us old-fashioned, but a midget that rides on the back of a giant moron is like that secret wish you never say out loud for fear it would never come true.
9. THE TIME BANDITS- (Time Bandits)
We're not sure which is a better concept, time-traveling dwarf thieves or the notion that God employs time-traveling dwarf thieves to perform maintenance duties on the universe. Randall, Fidgit, Strutter, Og, Wally, and Vermin were, in retrospect, pretty groundbreaking roles. For once, tiny actors could take center stage without having to wear 30-pounds of prosthetic make-up or teddy bear costumes. Without them, would we ever have, say, a Tom Cruise? Ponder that.
12. OOMPA LOOMPAS- (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
Forget tiny Indian men who can be replicated through advanced computer technology (for now, at least—we'll get to them later), the original Willy Wonka movie knew that slapping twelve coats of orange, lead-based paint and green wigs on a gaggle of dwarves was what really made an Oompa Loompa. What other character could touch kids' imaginations and haunt their nightmares at the same time?
8. THE LOLLIPOP GUILD- (The Wizard of Oz)
While the rest of Munchkin land resembled something that fell off a wedding cake, the Lollipop Guild looked like mean, nasty, Irish plumbers who would just as soon shank you in the gut as snake your toilet. Probably because, as history tells us, they were most likely played by mean, nasty Irish plumbers who shanked several crew members during filming. If you see three identically-clad midgets carrying wrenches that are four-times their size, you run your ass back to Kansas, pronto.
7. MARCUS- (Bad Santa)
This little criminal mastermind might not be able to handle his drink ("I'm 92 pounds, you dick") or negotiate ("49%?"), but he can fleece a department store in thirty minutes flat while simultaneously keeping his drunken safe-cracker Santa in line. And if you cross him or his shrieking wife, you will find your ass smeared against the front of a van. Marcus is a badass, even in a green felt suit.
6. WILLOW- (Willow)
Fantasy films are like pornos for small actors—they don't want to have to resort to performing in them but, dammit, they have to eat, too. So they grit their teeth, pull on the leggings and the tunics, do it, then drink heavily afterwards. Even a big name like Warrick Davis (he was an Ewok, for crying out loud! Like, the main Ewok! Give the man his due) had to fight fairies and trolls for his paycheck, but at least he was the male lead. Val Kilmer, what's your excuse?
5. GWILDOR- (Masters of the Universe)
As much as we would have preferred to see Orko in the He-Man movie, Gwildor satisfied that "mystical tiny being" niche the movie required. He was also played by Billy Barty, who is a legend among tiny actors. The guy founded "Little People of America, Inc.", an organization with a height requirement of 4'6" and smaller. (We swear their basketball team has a dude who's 5'1"—we smell a ringer!)
4. MINI-ME- (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me)
Verne Troyer stole the movie right out from under Mike Myers as the miniature Dr. Evil clone. He would later, of course, steal the show right out from under his Surreal Life castmates by getting sloppy drunk and pissing into a radiator while buck naked. We hear Verne gets pissy when people call him "Mini-Me" these days, insisting he's more than just that one character. And that's true—he was also a Harry Potter goblin, asshole. Do some goddamn research!
3. JASON "WEE MAN" ACUNA- (Jackass: The Movie)
Fearless Wee Man is a human Weeble—small, slightly round, and impossible to knock over. While often paired with the misshapen mass of donut batter Preston Lacy, Jason puts his compact stature to good use. And by "good use" we mean donning a panda costume and throwing himself at Tokyo schoolgirls like something out of a Japanese hentai video.
2. MAJAI- (The Island of Dr. Moreau)
We're not sure which part of diminutive actor Nelson de la Rosa's life was more humiliatinghaving to dress in Muumuus alongside a rapidly-deteriorating Marlon Brando, or being adopted as a rabbit's foot by Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez. Hey, Pedro, you were aware that he was a human being, right?
449631210- (Adhisaya Piravi)
The internet sensation popped and locked his way into the hearts of YouTubers worldwide. Maybe it was the infectious grin, maybe it was the Erik Estrada coiffure, but Little Superstar made us almost (almost) want to seek out and watch some Indian films. But then we realized that for every dwarf hip-hop routine there would be eight major song and dance numbers involving happy villagers or a bridal party. So we're happy with that "repeat" button on our media player, thank you…