The world of late night television has produced some of the world's greatest inventions. Here's proof.

<strong>2. The Clapper</strong>- You clap and the lights go on; you clap and the lights go off. Talk about a concept that middlebrow America can wrap its brain around. And oh, that jingle: "Clap on! [clap, clap]/Clap off! [clap, clap]/Clap on, clap off, the Clapper! [clap, clap]." Yeah, we can't get it out of our heads, either. Buy it here!

<strong>10. Ginsu knives</strong>- The infomercial format was more or less invented to sell these blades of glory, which slice, dice and…uh, are nice. Let's be honest, though: You were totally wowed when they tore through an aluminum can as if it were one of O.J.'s exes. Buy it here!

<strong>9. Chia Pet</strong>- Contrary to popular belief, the Chia Pet is not a legitimate member of the animal kingdom. Which is good, because you know somehow it would've been sucked into the stem cell debate. Buy it here!

<strong>8. Hairagami</strong>- Who among us, in a moment of weakness, hasn't stared into the blinding light of the boob tube and thought, "Sure, running my hair through the only-sold-on-TV equivalent of a waffle iron would make me more attractive to friend and paramour alike?" Buy it here!

<strong>11. The ThighMaster</strong>- Ah, sweet Suzanne Somers. Nobody we know ever masturbated to this. Nope. Didn't happen. Buy it here!

<strong>7. Copper Tongue Scraper</strong>- Talk about high-concept: The Copper Tongue Scraper is a piece of copper that, when raked over one's tongue, allegedly limits bad breath and tongue disease. We do, however, take issue with the infomercial's boast that it has been "PROVEN effective." By whom? The tongue-scraper guild? Buy it here!

<strong>6. Whatever the hell it was that Susan Powter sold</strong>- We can't remember, frankly, other than that she sold it/them with the maniacal drive of a particularly butch drill sergeant. Was it self-empowerment books? Exercise equipment? Stop the insanity. Buy it here!

<strong>5. K-tel International</strong>- Narrowly edges out the fork-tongued, heavily tattooed Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute, as the infomercial world's greatest music merchandiser. What distinguished K-tel was the breadth of its offerings, everything from the "Super Hits" series to the "Number One Hits" collection to the "Dynamic Hits" compilations. The guy who sang "Play That Funky Music" is probably on a beach somewhere—most likely surrounded by mai tais and pay-for-play female companionship—toasting the good folks at

<strong>4. Veg-O-Matic</strong>- Pish-posh on those who insist that God never intended beets, rhubarbs, cucumbers, and okra to be pureed into a concoction eminently more chuggable than Coors Light. See more of this classic here!

<strong>3. Flowbee</strong>- If this suction-powered device can deliver, as it promises, "precision-layered haircuts," then a particularly precocious lion cub can deliver the mail. Buy it here!

<strong>1. Life Alert</strong>- All together now: "Help! I've fallen…and I can't get up!" Entirely useless trivia: The "I've fallen…" pitch was originally developed by the maker of another somebody-done-broke-a-hip communications gizmo, LifeCall. And yet grandma still lies motionless and bleeding on the floor of her bathroom, her splayed limbs barely concealed by her robe, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Buy it here!