The Lazy Man's Gift Guide

The sheer amount of effort that goes into picking out the perfect holiday gift is daunting to even think about. We’re a lazy culture - we want to buy and receive things that make life easier, even if that means sacrificing “cool” in favor of  “convenient.” From a subscription box containing a monthly delivery of man-staples, to an all-in-one breakfast dispenser, here are five gifts perfectly designed for our slothful and lazy ways.


Manpacks

There are items that, as men, are a must, yet we don’t consider purchasing them until the need arises. Thanks to Manpacks – a service that provides monthly care package-esque items ranging from underwear to condoms – a guy can now be prepared for whatever life throws at him. The only downside is that you won’t receive a crossbow in the event of a zombie apocalypse, which, in fairness, is probably about as likely as actually needing those condoms.


The Nostalgia Electrics Retro Series 3-in-1 Breakfast Station

For most men, the key to having a successful day depends on two rituals: not peeing until after morning wood has subsided, and enjoying a hearty He-Man-style breakfast. We can't help you with the first one. As for the second one, getting that caffeine/sodium/butter fix requires perfect timing to ensure that coffee temperature, yolk runniness, and toast darkness is absolutely spot-on. With the pleasingly retro 3-in-1 breakfast station, breakfast is a one-step process and suddenly a snap to execute (Jesus, we really are lazy.)


The Bouqs

The Bouqs is the perfect gift to give if you like being lazy and looking like a thoughtful human being every once in a while. Can't be bothered to remember important dates like birthdays and holidays (though, remarkably, you never seem to forget Taco Tuesdays)? You don't have to, because The Bouqs provides an ongoing, automatic subscription-style service that delivers flowers to the person of your choice for a flat-rate fee of $40. After all, it’s the thought that counts – even if that thought is, "How can I avoid ever having to think about this again?"


Toilet Tissue Reacher

Courtesy of Taylor Gifts

Whether you’re a sitter or a stander with respect to the age-old “how do you wipe" debate, there’s always room for improvement when it comes to how you add that final artistic stroke at the end. Especially if you're lazy, and prefer not to expend any additional energy reaching for your backside. With the Toilet Tissue Reacher, you can get into those hard-to-reach places without straining any muscles. Next stop: Bed pan! Because literally going to the bathroom is for chumps.


Segway

Courtesy of Segway Inc.

Optimum laziness comes at a price – just ask George Costanza. While the Segway will never come with the same air of mystery as the Aston Martin, it is a feasible means of transportation for a person who refuses to walk (and who probably already has a fanny pack bedazzled with the word “swag” on it). So, hop on this weird scooter thing and go west, young man…just don’t tell anyone we know each other.

Maxim's 2012 Gift Guide
Show me girls.