Seriously, you guys.
Photos: Kabik/Retna Digital / Marc Piasecki/FilmMagic | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Celebrity feuds are almost always a disappointment - they always start over some trivial bullshit, then get trumped up in the news because it’s easier than covering something with more substance. They also usually don’t lead to actual physical violence, and even if they did, it wouldn’t be a real fight since Screen Actors’ Guild laws prevent them from hitting each other in the face.
That’s why we were delighted to see a celebrity feud develop that could actually lead to a good, ol’ fashioned ass-kicking contest. It started when UFC champion and MMA fighter Randy Couture joked that he would come out of retirement if he could fight movie star and former MMA trainer Steven Seagal. It wasn’t just a random name choice - when former UFC light heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida knocked out Couture during UFC 129, Machida gave a big thank you to Seagal for helping him learn the leaping front kick that led to Couture’s retirement.
Seagal, however, called Couture’s bluff, responding to the challenge by saying he would do it “any time, any place” but with some conditions, such as, “It would be for free and it would be some place where there are no witnesses." Incidentally, these are the same conditions that are requested by anyone who has ever seen a Steven Seagal movie.
Couture laughed off the response to his joke by assuring Seagal that he was just kidding, but he didn’t totally dismiss the possibility, noting, “It could happen organically, I suppose". We're sure we speak for every red blooded American male when we say that this fight NEEDS TO HAPPEN. We don’t care if the two organize a straight fight in The Octagon, or if it happens “organically” thanks to the magic of alcohol and insulting each other’s mothers. Hell, we’d even be thrilled to watch the two go head to head in the world’s angriest game of “Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.” Just make it happen!
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