Remember back in the '90s, when everyone started hating on Big Tobacco, and they produced all these anti-smoking ads starring kids who looked like such dorks for turning down cigarettes, that they just inadvertently made smoking seem pretty cool?
Well, this absolutely mortifying anti-Scientology rap song featuring an assortment of former Scientologists is a lot like that. Instead of reinforcing the most obvious thing in the world—that Scientology is positively bonkers—they succeed only at making themselves look like complete assholes.
The song was obtained by Gawker by way of this weird video, in which the song's producer, Titziano Lugli, bobs his head, occasionally singing along. It's like some kind of horrific parody, except that you can tell that everyone involved with this project—including outspoken ex-Scientologist Marty Rathbun, actress Jamie Sorrentini (Lugli's wife), and Iranian actress Nazanin Boniadi (who was allegedly personally selected by the church to be courted by Tom Cruise before she was de-programmed)—is totally oblivious.
If you are strong enough to handle the crushing third-party embarrassment, here's a sampling of some lyrics:
"But we all know how it is / This ain't no road to freedom / It's a blind alley, like Kirstie Alley / Travolta, and Cruise, but we ain't no fools."
Please don't make us repeat any more of it.
Look, we're glad that Marty Rathbun and the rest of the gang had the good sense to leave Scientology, but agreeing to partake in this train wreck production is no less crazy than signing a billion-year service contract with a church founded by a science fiction writer.
This Anti-Scientology Rap Song is Worse Than Anything, Ever