They don't smell as good as flowers, but at least they live longer.
Fellas, forget the flowers and chocolates. What women really want for Valentine's Day is a cute, cuddly goat. The problem with that scenario is that goats will shit in your house and wake you up with their weird, loud noises and chew apart your ottoman because they think it's food. Goats think everything is food! That's what makes them so goddamn wonderful, and also, the worst pets ever.
But now, you can give your girlfriend a goat without all the house-destruction and sleepless nights. Farm Sanctuary, an organization that rescues farm animals from your dinner plate, is offering a special Valentine's Day adoption of two rescue goats, Randy and Elle, who fell in love after narrowly escaping the butcher and becoming a bowl of curry.
You can adopt them individually or as a couple, but either way, you'll receive an adoption certificate, a photograph, and an invitation to schedule a VIP tour to meet your new kid(s). There's also the option to adopt other farm animals, but if you give your girlfriend a stupid chicken, chances are, you'll be sleeping in the doghouse.
Hilarity ensues here.
Hot girls can be found here.